Justice League

(Funny enough, I saw this movie just a few days after it hit theater but never uploaded the review I wrote of it from my phone, just goes to show how forgettable this movie was. Well, I wrote the review, so I’m going to post it now.)

The end credits began to roll and I immediately hopped out of my seat and stumbled down the aisle out of the theater, first to leave. I saw a trash can just outside the exit and I fumbled my ticket out of my pocket and threw it into the garbage, happy to rid myself of the ticket stub. I did so hastily, almost afraid I would get caught with the thing by someone I know, embarrassed to have seen the show.

If this isn’t enough of an indicator of my feelings towards Justice League let me spell it out for you. I did not enjoy it.

The whole thing felt short and rushed, and had no substance to it. There was a lot of action sequences but the main villain was just some big dumb clearly fake CGI guy (as well as an army of equally disposable CGI) and I never felt like the good guys were ever in any real danger.

I guess I’ve been spoiled now by superhero movies like Logan that feel gritty, and realistic despite the comic book hero source. Or maybe I’m no longer the demographic for these kinds of movies. It felt like a kids movie, with cheesy lines and jokes that fell flat, and swelling overly loud yet boring orechstral music (I only recognized the superman theme once for a minute or so during one scene).

What went wrong here? I don’t know. I loved Man of Steel and thought Batman Vs Superman was cool, but this just fell right flat on its face for me. There was no dangerous or heroic moments that stood out at all, certainly nothing like the tense melee Superman and Zod had in Man of Steel. Will Superman stop Zod in time from killing those people? Will Superman do it? Is he really going to kill Did? But of course he has to to save the people, and he does and the emotions of that moment are just so overwhelming and the scream of Cavill in that scene was just so perfect and thrilling.

But no, nothing like that in Justice League. They barely even break a sweat in this movie, Superman’s suit is even 5x shades of blue brighter than the other movies, which fits well with the rest of Justice League because it’s a kids movie and I did not enjoy it at all. There was certainly plenty of eye rolling from me though.

I give this schlump of a movie 1 star out of 5

Enfin – Better than: Hulk (the 2003 one… and just barely at that)
Instead, Watch: Batman vs Superman (the Ultimate Edition)

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